www jerk

Tue, Sep 11

RIP, Alex

Alex, the world's smartest parrot, has died at the age of 31.

Alex's advanced language and recognition skills revolutionized the understanding of the avian brain.

After Pepperberg bought Alex from an animal shop in 1973, the parrot learned enough English to identify 50 different objects, seven colors, and five shapes.

He could count up to six, including zero, was able to express desires, including his frustration with the repetitive research.

He also occasionally instructed two other parrots at the lab to "talk better" if they mumbled, though it wasn't clear if he was simply mimicking researchers.

He will be missed.

posted 09.11.07 @ 8:32 pm | link | tell a friend | 1 comments

Mon, Aug 27

Owen Wilson Suicide Attempt?

Not the Butterscotch Stallion!:

Actor Owen Wilson was hospitalized after attempting suicide, sources tell the NATIONAL ENQUIRER and Star magazine exclusively.

Wilson was transported to St. John’s hospital in Santa Monica , Calif. on Sunday, August 26, by ambulance. Sources tell the ENQUIRER and Star that he sliced his left wrists and took an indeterminate amount of pills.

He was discovered by a family member who summoned help.

I sincerely hope this is not true. And since it's Star and the National Enquirer, there's a good chance it's not.

Update: Sounds like it's probably true. How very sad.

posted 08.27.07 @ 9:23 am | link | tell a friend | 0 comments

Mon, Aug 20

Outta My Way!

Didn'tcha know? Congressmen are very. Important. People, damn it:

Rep. Bob Filner is facing an assault and battery charge after an incident at Dulles Airport where he allegedly pushed an United Airlines bag claim employee as first reported by ABC7/Newschannel 8.

Filner, a Democrat from California, allegedly attempted to enter an employees-only area on Sunday night.

ABC 7's Kris Van Cleave spoke with several witnesses who say they heard Filner yell "You can't stop me," before pushing aside the employee and refusing to leave the office.

How dare they delay his baggage.

posted 08.20.07 @ 9:02 pm | link | tell a friend | 0 comments

The Controversial Shoes of the Fred Thompson

The Manolo is rightly defending the shoes of the Fred Thompson, which the media has somehow deemed far too highfalutin for simple country folk:

Of all the things one may say about Fred Thompson, one may not say that he is the fancy lad pretty boy. Indeed, much of his appeal is that he is the bald, jowly, basso-profundo, hyper-masculine, ugly-as-the-mud-fence antidote to the pretty boys of politics. It is difficult to seem slick when you look like the aged blue-tick hound.

Instead, perhaps this observation about the Gucci loafers was intended to convey that the Fred Thompson was clueless about his audience.

It is common knowledge, this line of thinking goes, that the fly-over rubes and hayseeds at the Iowa State Fair (I've got Ioway in my ears and eyes and nose!) would object to any candidate who does not appear before them in the pig-feces-encrusted work boots.

Please, do not insult our intelligence.

The Manolo, who has hundreds of internet friends in the Midwest, can assure you that many peoples in Iowa love the beautiful and expensive shoes. And that even those Americans in the most remote parts of the country now have access to the internets and the satellite television, and thus know how public peoples should dress, and how much the good men's shoes cost.

And besides, they're nice shoes.

posted 08.20.07 @ 8:54 pm | link | tell a friend | 0 comments

Video of the Day

Hee!

posted 08.20.07 @ 8:53 pm | link | tell a friend | 0 comments

Sun, Aug 19

Max Roach

I don't know how I missed this, but the incomparable Max Roach has died. He was 83.

"He was, like, the beginning," [James] Moody said of Mr. Roach, one of the founders of the sometimes fractured, always rhythmic style of post-World War II jazz known as bebop. "He was an innovator. He changed it all."

Indeed he did. Might I recommend Duke Ellington's Money Jungle for further listening?

posted 08.19.07 @ 7:49 am | link | tell a friend | 0 comments

Fri, Aug 17

Can't defend this one

I thought paranoid people accused Fox News of pro-Bush bias (note: not specifically being anti-Bush does not make one pro-Bush), but I've never heard any complaints about it being an arm of Partnership for a Drug-Free America. Here is a perfectly acceptable, unbiased report on a recent study that shows marijuana relieves allergic dermatitis. The headline is rather dry: "Study: Substance in Marijuana Clears Facial Dermatitis." So how are we linking it on the main page?

marijuana bad!!

I sent an email to Fox News. Let's see if I hear anything back.

posted 08.17.07 @ 8:31 pm | link | tell a friend | 0 comments

Tue, Aug 14

Ugh

Unbelievable. We go out of our way to lock up non-violent drug offenders, but this murderer is out after just a couple of months.

posted 08.14.07 @ 7:18 pm | link | tell a friend | 1 comments

Cha-Ching

The Don Imus fauxtroversy has now reached its logical conclusion:

Kia Vaughn, star center for the Rutgers Women's Basketball team, has filed a lawsuit against Imus for libel, slander, and defamation -- the first civil suit to be filed against the former radio host. Vaughn is asking for monetary damages of an unspecified amount. Related Stories

"This is a lawsuit in order to restore the good name and reputation of my client, Kia Vaughn," said her attorney, Richard Ancowitz, in an exclusive interview with the ABC News Law & Justice Unit.

The suit names Imus individually, but is also against MSNBC, NBC Universal, CBS Radio, CBS Corporation, Viacom Inc, Westwood One Radio and Imus producer Bernard McGuirk.

My favorite part:

Vaughn's lawyer says that some of the money from any damages awarded in the lawsuit would be used to create a scholarship program to study the effects of bigoted and misogynistic speech on society.

Here's your study: $$$.

posted 08.14.07 @ 7:13 pm | link | tell a friend | 0 comments

Fri, Aug 10

Huzzah!

Sweet. WSJ.com may soon be free. But wait! There's more:

News Corp.'s Rupert Murdoch has said he might make the Wall Street Journal's Web site free, a shift that could compel Pearson to do the same with the online version of its Financial Times.

Numis Securities analyst Lorna Tilbian said any move by Murdoch to make wsj.com free has to put pressure on Pearson, while Dresdner Kleinwort's Usman Ghazi estimates a potential hit of up to six percent on earnings per share.

This comes as great new to someone who needs access to such information to do her job, but whose company will only provide it to executives, who never have time to read it. And here I thought old Rupe was supposed to be eeevil.

posted 08.10.07 @ 6:44 pm | link | tell a friend | 0 comments

Wed, Aug 08

Ahahaha

This, my friends, is what happens to the sort of douchebag who a) thought a first generation iPhone was a good idea, and b) uses said iPhone on the treadmill. Must've been working hard.

posted 08.08.07 @ 6:23 pm | link | tell a friend | 0 comments

Pelosi's Priorities

Good to see the Speaker of the House supports doping:

"Tonight, Barry Bonds etched his name into baseball's history books and took his rightful place among sport's immortals," Pelosi said. "It was a great night for baseball and a great night for San Francisco -- the crowd went wild. It was particular exciting to see Willie Mays embrace him on the field and see Hank Aaron congratulate him on the Jumbotron. As a season ticket holder, I am particularly glad it happened on the Giants' Italian night."

The White House was a little more wishy-washy.

posted 08.08.07 @ 1:40 pm | link | tell a friend | 0 comments

Tue, Aug 07

Elizabeth Edwards opens her mouth

Elizabeth Edwards has highlighted some problems with her husband's campaign:

The Web can be liberating. "It's about bypassing the sieve of the mainstream media," says Elizabeth Edwards, wife and confidant of Democratic presidential hopeful John Edwards. "The idea that you have people standing between you and the voter is diminished, and the capacity to speak directly empowers candidates to trust their own voices." With Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama hogging media coverage, campaigns can push their messages without paying for ads.

"In some ways, it's the way we have to go," Edwards says. "We can't make John black, we can't make him a woman. Those things get you a lot of press, worth a certain amount of fundraising dollars. Now it's nice to get on the news, but not the be all and end all."

Oh, come on, Liz. Haven't you ever seen Soul Man? Or Tootsie?

posted 08.07.07 @ 4:30 pm | link | tell a friend | 0 comments

Sat, Aug 04

Guess who supports animal abuse

So, the Southern Christian Leadership Conference plans to honor all-but-convicted animal abuser Michael Vick for being an "outstanding human being." Certainly, drowning and electrocuting dogs makes one stand out, but not in a particularly attractive way. I've always thought of groups like this as a little bit nutty, but not this nutty. Still, what's truly appalling is the band of idiots that plan on joining them:

Former President Bill Clinton is a scheduled speaker and will cut the ribbon of the SCLC's new headquarters. Presidential candidates Sen. Hillary Clinton (D-N.Y.) , Sen. Barack Obama (D-Ill.) , Mitt Romney and Mike Huckabee are also expected to attend.

Well, with Mitt Romney it's clearly just about birds of a feather.

posted 08.04.07 @ 11:31 am | link | tell a friend | 0 comments
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